March 23 , 2017

Jakod Dakota Kinney… What can I say , I miss your face and your laugh and that heart winning smile !  I wrote a blog post today and I can’t stop thinking about you and my heart hurts .  I know you want me not to be sad so I am trying . I am super excited about baby girl coming !!!  breaks my heart you never got to be a daddy , you would  be awesome at it .  But thats ok .  Truck and the bike are still in the works . im getting impatiant at this point . It had been almost a year now . I cant belive how much time went by without me noticing . We got the skis ready for the  lake and are headed out next month . Were we go you go so get ready !! I love you Jake , you are my favorite . save my spot .

Love Mom 

November 30 , 2016

Well hello handsome !  I havent written in awhile but you know I talk to you everyday . We are all good here just gearing up for Christmas and of course I over did it again …. I wish you were here and could have seen it but I know you are looking over my shoulder as we speak .  Your truck is coming along and if hopefully going to be done real soon . I cant wait to drive her home and for everyone to see what we have done for you . They are all gonna shit when they see her !!  Jaden is good and the boys and getting big of course . She had gotten alot of shit ove Elijah lately but she is standing tough as you would want her too and trying to be happy without you and all we can do is support her decisions and helo her as much as we can . The weather is wierd and warm for November but should turn off colder next week . I love you and miss you more than I ever thought possible. Ill see ya around baby . Your my favorite 

Love Mom 

October 12, 2016

Dude….. I am loosing my frickin mind . I am having the hardest time this week , Your birthday is coming up on friday and I am lost . I have never been without you on your birthday . I always post your “birthday song” for you every single year and I will always . But dam… my heart is lost . I need to see your face and hear your laugh and hug you . Court is still going slowly but at least we are making progress finally . Your dad is having a bonfire on saturday for  you and all the crew plan to be there and you know we wil be there !! How was your week ????     21.. i can’t believ it has been 21 years . I love you and I will talk to you again soon . Your my favorite . 

Love Mom 

SEPTEMBER 21 , 2016

Good morning handsome ! Lots going on ….. I  have been slacking on my other blog and yours . I will be hitting it hard now for a bit . I have to get your story out there and help others . You life matters and you deseve it . We have lots of ideas in the works for big changes and I’m gonna need you to back me up here Jake , I’m confident but still scared . Looking  for some land in a few different areas and looking to get the buildings up soon.  We are going to Phillips saturday for Briah and Nicoles birthday party , should be a good time ! The truck is still in the works . I wish she was done already !! Miss you like crazy and talk to you all day everyday . I love you son , your my favorite ! 

Love Mom.

September 14 , 2016

I’m sorry it has been so long son . Just trying to move along and stay sane at this point . Work is work and the same old daily . Jaden and the boys came over a couple weeks ago and stayed the night and then Daisy went back to Wichita with her .  Your truck is almost done and I’ll put some pics up to show the progress . Donnie tore that bitch down to the bare skeleton and built it from the ground up . You are going to be so proud !! We can’t wait to get her  back home . Jae had her pacemaker put in last week and she is doing good . Daisy went over and stayed with her and took careof her for you . We went to Hutch last weekend a had a cookout with Traci and Carlos and some of the boys. I miss you so frickin much Jake … I can’t ever explain to someone who hasn’t felt the pain or heartbreak of losing a child how I am feeling . My heart literally aches somedays and I have to just remember you are there and wouldn’t want to see me cry or stressed out . Thank you for the motivation . I talk to yu all the time and I wish you could answer but I do see the signs you show me that you  are around . I love you Jake . I’ll see you again . 

Your my favorite, 

Mom

August 26, 2016

The field is all grown over and ready for the next season as if nothing had ever happened . The memorials are all still there as reminders of all of the friends and family that miss you and have come to visit . The scenery there is so peaceful and the golden wheat field that is protected by a guard of strong trees watching over the land . The last time I was there I looked around and searched for something familiar to make me feel close to you and after a long and hard look I realized that nothing on that dirt road or in that field was ever going to bring you back and you were already home with us and will always be . I find the most comfort when I see the coins you leave and the birds that are on the wires and when I walk by your pictures . I love talking about you and to hear your name mentioned in a crowd . All of your friends have all been amazing to us and hve stepped in to be sure Daisy is ok and protected . I have watched the videos of you a hundered times just to hear your voice and I am doing my best to help other people with your story . You truly are an inspiration to alot of us and I could not be more proud of you . I swear I have heard your voice and I can’t wait to hear it again . Some say that humans have a sixth sence and I truly believe that now . I know you are around me all the time and I can’t help but laugh whenever I see things that I know you are involved in . Daisy does a very good job of folding my mirrors in whenever she walks by them . I am getting stronger everyday and I can totally handle this with you be my side and I thank you for the strength . They say time heals all but they lied , it doesn’t heal it just get more tolerable on certain days and other days still take my breath away . I will without a doubt figure out what to do next and in the mean time stick by me kid and lets do this together . I love you and keep making your presence known and when you see me struggle put your hand on my shoulder and I’ll know that you are there . Fly high my boy and I’ll see you again . Love, mom

August 12 , 2016

Good mornin ,  We see the dove every morning on the wire over work… Thanks for that .  Still hot as hell around here .  It is our early night at work and thinking of going on a road trip tommorrow to Salina or something to get our of here for a bit . Wish you were riding shot gun amigo . Daisy is headed to hutch for dads company picnic tommorow and to introduce him to Wyatt . Those guys at the picnic may actually have a chance at washers this time with you not there to drag that ass ! I have been thinking about you alot lately and have questions . What is it like in heaven ? is it warm ? is it quiet ? i’m sure with you there it is a wild time most days . Are you runnin around commando ? How is grampa Dale and how about Tyler ? Just a few things I wish I could ask you and get the answers . Wierd things I think of huh ? Everyone is loving your website and have been sending me pics they want me to share . Border battle is this weekend at B2B .. keep our boys safe and give chancey a little extra push towards that finish line . Your number looks good of Richeys bike keep him up on 2 wheels and in one piece . I better go for now , I love you and please keep an eye on your sister on the highway . 

Your my favorite , Mom 

August 15 , 2016

Hi Jake !  Today it has been 3 months and it sucks .  not a single day goes by that I don’t think about you on the regular .  So much has been going on that I need to tell you about . Project Kaitlyn Rebuild is under way !! Uncle Donnie has her right not putting her back together mechanically and he just shakes his head wondering what the hell you have done . She is getting rid of her  black eye and the headlights you saved to my favorites should  be here any day . Daisy and Wyatt when to Ottawa Ks. today to pick up a new bed since someone(not mentioning names ) smoked a mailbox with the ass end flare . She is  getting smoked taillights  and a different hood . Don’t worry the grill is staying ! Now about that front bumper … for now it will be color matched and the tow mirrors too . eventually she will get a ranch hand bumper .  She is going to be so bad ass son. Everyone will know it is Kailtlyn , your flags will fly for her maiden voyage home . The bike is underway and almost ready for primer and paint . We have the graphics ready to go on and Carlos cut down the exhaust she sound sweet ! Shes a runner . Jaden and the boys are good . still in Wichita . Daisy is still hanging with wyatt and she seems to be really happy so don’t worry ,all of your boys have approved of him . Paige is still in Hutch and Spence is hiking alover colorado it seems . We went on a vacation there and I will tell you all about that another time .  Your dad and grandpa have been fishing fools and have the pond pretty well stocked and your boat is docked and ready at all times . Monty and I are good and carry on the “hows your week” regularly  .We see your name all over Hutch on truck windows and cars everywhere . The nice dark burn out in front of the house was starting to fade so Tyler Deforrest came and left some fresh ones for us . I miss you so frickin much I can’t explain it . I see all of the signs you leave me to let me know your are around me at all times and I can’t help but smile everytime . anyway …  your my favorite and I love you son 

Mom .

August 18 , 2016

Hey you ,  So…. Jae suprised us yesterday wit a visit !! you already know she was out at our place and had a nice long chat . It was good catching up and laughing again . Daisy was super excited to see her . We are hoping to plan another short weekend trip soon and let Jezebel stretch her legs .  No news on the truck yet still working on it . Sadly we are letting the ram charger go since we dont ever use it , looking at couple new skis instead . Not much new going on just working this week and probably make a run over to hutch this weekend . School started back up today and of course she was not excited about that but she took it like a champ ! I have been looking at puppies lately and OMG I have found some cute ones but I’m debating on rather I want that committment again or not or if the puppy fever will pass and I’ll get over it . Not much else I guess so for today remember you are my favorite and I love you . 

Mom.

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