Made it a year .

It’s been a full year since you left .  Alot has happened and changed , some good some bad .  I can say though that we are strong and that our family has a whole new dynamic now and there is a closeness that wasn’t there before and that will never change again . We just celebrated you with a huge balloon launch and it was so good !!! I miss you every single day and I always talk to you and wish you could answer or at least bust up with that unforgetable laugh .   I see you all around me daily and smile knowing you got my back no matter what . I smell your cologne and see the lights flicker and those are the best moments  for me , keep it up kid ! Your truck and bike are ALMOST done finally !!! you are going to be so proud and I expect you to be riding shotgun . Your sister went to your place yesterday and could use a Jake hug please . I love you Jake I’ll see you later .

And that is just a very small example of the things I write to Jake on a regular basis .  He may not be here in physical form but trust me he is here and always will be .  It is my way of keeping him close . Everyone has given me their advice and suggestions on how to grieve and I took them all in and do it my way and that is ok . Whenever tragedy hits a family you realize how petty things really are and that the big picture is to always apologize and make amends because you never know what harsh words said today may not be able to be taken back before it is too late ,  myself included . We have gained some very important people in our lives and are thankful for each and every one of you that have supported us from day one and we hope you all know how appreciative we are and the table turns both ways if you ever need us as well . I have written this blog for a year now and reading back to the older post I realized alot of sadness and heartbreak and I hope too think I can be more positive and keep Jake alive in our hearts make sure he is never forgotten (as if that could ever happen !) . He truly is a one of a kind and original soul that touched so many and still continues too .  I feel like I should apologize for not being the best friend that I could possibly be through all of this , from the forgotten text,  the missed calls or the times we simply couldn’t make an event . We truly have good intentions but we also need to rally as a family some times and just take a timeout .  With that being said I hope eveyone has plans to enjoy their summers and get to get out and do something new or exciting at least once and I look forward to seeing all the pics on FB and we will share ours too .  Thank you all for being so patient between post and I am trying to get back on track with my posting schedule !  Hug eachother today and make it worth it and as always … If you drink please don’t drive .

#JDK

Jakes Mom .