Learning Life

312 days…. 10 months and 8 days …. 7488 hours …. 449,280 minutes …. 26,956,800 seconds . That is how long I have missed my son  . My heart is shattered , I have swept up the pieces and left them in a pile .  It is NOT easier . Time doesn’t heal all and those that tell you that it will get better are lying . The pain is fresh and the time is going by and I can’t stop it and I am frustrated .  Things are changing and situatiations are different but  we are adjusting and  learning from it .  We are doing less crying and more laughing which is amazing progress and we have Jake to thank for that , It is the way he wants it .  We have aquired alot of “family” and couldn’t be happier about it !  Summer is right aroung the corner and we are ready for sunshine and tanlines !  It’s ok to be ok and allow ourselves to live and not constantly be sad , granted there are those days that we all call “Jake days” and we all know that is code for we are missing him more that day but for the most part we are all ok .  The emails are still coming in for support groups and public functions and although they are appreciated, we got this !  We do however plan to support other families living the same hell we are and offer any kind of help that we can whenever it is needed, rather it be a memorial or simply a silent request eighter way we will do everything that we can  .  Be on the lookout for a badass hot pink bike on the streets and smile when you see us and know that Jake is riding shot gun and loving it as he is celebrated with such a special thing to him dont forget to check out the graphics on it and know it was built as a heart felt tribute to our boy !  You all know all about Kaitlyn (Jakes truck) and she is about done with her makeover and will also soon be back out and proud as she can be . We have missed a few events for other families this summer as the bike and truck were getting ready but you can bet we will be at them all showing our support and carrying on Jakes memory from here on out !  This blog post is kind of a jumbled mess without a real subject or focus I just wanted to check in and let everyone know that we are still here and aren’t going anywhere .  Jake has taught us all how to live and not to take one single day for granted and that is something I never really did before , I was the worrier and now  I want to be free and see life the way he does , Enjoy it and stop wasting time .  Never in a million years would I have thought such a tragedy would have taught me so much about myself or life but I am so greatful that I can take such an important lesson from it all .  When Jeff told me that he seen our son as a 20 year old gift that we were lucky to have I was angry at him for saying such a thing because he shouldn’t have had such a short life but I get it now , eventhough we only got to keep him for 20 years , atleast we were lucky enough to have that time  and to learn so much from him about how  life should be .  Hug your loved ones and laugh guys because you never know when they are going to be all you have . Don’t take life so seriously and make time for fun , don’t get too busy making a living that you don’t have time to make memories .  Thank you to each and everyone of you that are family to us blood or not for always making  sure we are always  ok . Jake thanks you . Until next time . If you drink please don’t drive .

Jakes Mom